Don't Try This At Home

A few weeks ago, I was in the grocery store making my routine rounds.  This included purchasing a chocolate bar that I use to ward off binges by eating a few squares during the week when a craving strikes.  I am currently high on Green & Blacks Sea Salt and Peanut chocolate bar.  On this particular day, the bars were moved to the top shelf and I was wearing flat gladiator sandals instead of my heels.  I was struggling to reach the bar when I man came up next to me.  I was flabbergasted when he said  " you really need to read the labels on those things because they have a ton of calories" and walked away instead of helping me.  I instantly felt like the fat girl that people mock when they eat candy.


Desperate times call for desperate measures.  Instead of breaking down crying in the aisle of the grocery, I panicked.  My cart started to make a bee line to the baby food aisle.  My brain finally caught up with my adrenaline filled body and I realized that I had read in a magazine at the salon about how celebrities go on baby food diets to lose weight.  The self proclaimed diva celebrity inside had taken over and was putting the recommended 14 jars a day of baby food in the shopping cart.  Thankfully, I had not eaten yet that morning and could start the diet that day.

11:00 am:  3 jars of baby food.  It tasted pretty good.  I was impressed at how enjoyable the banana and oatmeal selection tasted.


1:00 pm:  3 more jars of baby food.  Still tasted good, but missed chewing and did not feel satisfied.


3:00 pm:  Really started to get hungry.  I did not think that eating a cup of 35 calorie popcorn would hurt my diet efforts and it helped satisfy the need to chew.


4:00 pm: Crabbed at my husband on the phone and was so tired that I had to take a nap.  The dog would not even come into the bed with me.  Was I radiating that much negative energy?


6:00 pm:  Cooked my husband dinner.  Ate a jar of baby food while he ate his meal.  Broke down and finished what was suppose to be his lunch for the next day.


Obviously,  that did not last too long.  I needed to come up with a plan that would be more realistic.   My solution was to enlist the help of a personal trainer and count my calories on www.livestrong.com  The first visit with the trainer was brutal!  I nearly passed out while doing squats on the Bosu ball and for the next few days I looked like my 91 year old grandmother when I went up or down the stairs.  I have been complaining about the 20 pounds that I gained last year while receiving treatment for a medical condition. Now, thanks to a rude stranger in the grocery store, I am motivated to make a difference in my life.




Success of the Day: Realizing that there are NO quick fixes
 
Pink Inspiration:  My pink New Balance workout shoes that I am starting not to be able to see when I look down at my feet

Striving to be Pink in a Gray World: Guests and Fish

Striving to be Pink in a Gray World: Guests and Fish: "Ben Franklin is credited with the quote, ' guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.' However, I did not find this to be true whe..."

Guests and Fish

Ben Franklin is credited with the quote, "guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days."  However, I did not find this to be true when my younger cousin from Savannah came to visit for a week.  It was refreshing to see him blossom from the belly bump on his mother to the worldly young man he is today.  My husband and I truly enjoyed his company.What did stink was the tuna fish disaster that I encountered three days into him being in town.  


We were enjoying time at my parents' pool.  The fun in sun made us hungry, so this fabulous host made tuna sandwiches.  I rinsed out the cans in order to prep them for recycling.  My parents were hosting a BBQ in my cousin's honor later that day and I did not want the fish to smell up the kitchen.  So, I decided to run the garbage disposal.  However, the disposal cover was missing and I did not want dirty tuna water to splash up onto me.  In order to solve this dilemma with Sherlock Holmes sleuth, I put the tuna can over the disposal hole to prevent a fish water shower and turned it on.  The power sucked the can down and it got stuck.  I immediately asked my father for a pliers.  His response "What did you do in my kitchen now?"  Everyone was laughing as he removed the can except him.


The following day, like fish on a mission to more fruitful waters, we crossed the Detroit River into Canada.  My husband, cousin, and self had a fun getaway to Caesars Windsor Hotel and Casino. We enjoyed a night of gambling, fine dining, and relaxation.  Overall, it was a great trip, except for the return home.  We were stopped at customs and our car was searched.  After fishing through our luggage, the female guard gave us a hard time about the amount of items we had.  She asked " Are you sure you only stayed one night?  You have a lot of stuff for a day trip."  Really?  Has she never encountered a Greek and an Italian metro sexual travelling with  fashionista before?  I would have hated to see what would have happened if my cousin brought his large full size suitcase like he wanted.  Thankfully it wouldn't fit into the sports car.  

Success of the Day: Discovering that being a slave to fashion may land one a spot in prison
 
Pink Inspiration:  The pink carry-on suitcase in the trunk that actually contained my husband's clothes because HIS belongings would not fit into a tote bag

The Amazing Flying Herbert: Admission $1

I have always wanted a Betta fish.  I think they are beautiful and soothing to watch.  My passionate PETA self justifies having one because they are Japanese puddle fish and enjoy living in small spaces.  In order to make myself feel better when I lost my job, I adapted one from PETCO and named him Herbert.  I really enjoy watching him swim and talking to him in his tank while I attempt to cook.  Although I have to admit it feels wrong admiring Herbert while preparing fish.


The other day it was his turn to eat.  I opened the top of his tank and he jumped out.  Herbert landed on the counter and than fell onto the floor.  He was flopping around on the ground between the dogs' dishes while they were eating. I started to screech and tried scooping him up.  My Yorkie started barking at either the fish or the unnatural sounds coming out of my mouth.  The Silky took this opportunity to eat his brother's food while we were distracted.  Thankfully they did not try to eat him.  After multiple attempts, I was successful in catching him in my hands and putting him back in his tank.  Once he was back home, he ate his blood worm food like nothing had happened. 

Success of the Day:  Learning from Herbert that sometimes you need to take a leap of faith

Pink Inspiration:  My pink cell phone that I wanted to use in order to call 911 during the all the chaos

Party Poodle

This weekend I had lunch and went shopping in the swanky district of downtown Birmingham (Michigan) with my mother.  While there, I had to pay homage to my favorite posh pet boutique.  This store sells so many beautiful items for the most privileged pooches.  In fact, both of my dogs sport collars are from this pet palace.  However, the store is not limited to only merchandise, it also sell designer puppies.  The featured dog du jour was a party poodle.  This tiny toy was an adorable little chap with a chocolate brown face and white body.  He was beautiful and full of energy.  He was even waving to my mother and me through the glass enclosure.  The sales associate and sister of the owner gave us her expert knowledge about him.  I asked her “what exactly is a party poodle?”  I was told “two different colored poodles are bred to get a desired mix of colors in distinct areas.  For example, this little boy was conceived from a chocolate poodle and a white poodle in order to achieve a colored face and white body.”  As she carried on, all I could think was that two doggies simply had a party in their pants.

It is disturbing to me that people are breeding dogs for thousand dollar profits when there are millions of homeless pets.  This includes pure breeds and designer dogs.  If you wanted a party poodle, you could find and adopt a party poodle.  The upside: you will be the proud owner of the exact breed you want, you are paying a fraction of the price, and most importantly an animal is saved from a shelter lifestyle.  The down side:  you will not have the breed paperwork, but do you really need it?  Do you show admirers the receipt for your Louboutins when you wear them?

On the flip side of my soap box, I have to give credit to the genius mind that came up with the creative idea to design their own breed of dog for a profit.   This made me realize that there are endless possibilities for me to flex my creative muscles and make money.  I have always day dreamed about being an artist, an author, a jewelry designer, a photographer, or a fashion designer.  Since I am in a career transition, this is the perfect time to make my aspirations come true.  I have the time to learn these crafts.  Who knows…maybe one of these castles in the sky will turn into my new career?

Success of the Day:  Gaining the moxy to follow my dreams

Pink Inspiration: A pink dog t-shirt with rhinestones being sold in the boutique for $125.  I have bought my dogs similar ones for $2.50 and glued on the bling myself.

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

At a recent party with friends, I felt a little blue explaining my latest adventure in job hunting.  When asked for updates by caring chums, I described the grueling process of a pharmaceutical sales interview.  There are actually 4-5 standard steps: 

1) Phone interview

2) Initial face to face interview with a panel of managers

3) Second interview with managers

4) Spend a day shadowing a pharmaceutical rep so that they can report their opinion of you to the managers

5) Interview with your potential manger’s boss

This month I made it through all of these steps for a company, then suddenly with a snap, I was told “we decided to move in a different direction with the position”.  The feedback I received during this process was that I had too much experience and that they were uncomfortable with me accepting their potential offer which was a pay cut from my previous position.  Really?  Last time I checked this is a recession and almost everyone has been making less money.  Not to mention that this is sales…wouldn’t taking a cut in base pay be motivation to earn more bonus dollars?

Even though I was sharing this story with my fellow party goers, I was not a Debbie Downer.  I brought firecrackers.  I was really looking forward to the bright flicks of light and loud crackling sounds.  One of my good friends lined up the fireworks for a well choreographed display.  But when he lit the firecrackers, the wick only fizzled out to leave me once again disappointed.  My friend investigated the mystery of these duds.  The result:  The firecrackers were NOT fireworks, they were party poppers!  The party people still enjoyed pulling the strings to make the confetti pop out and of course a good laugh in my honor.

Success of the Day:  Realizing that sometimes things do not always play out the way you thought they would, so just roll with it

Pink Inspiration: The pink lighter that tried to light the "fireworks"

Stiff Interview Simulation

Career transition courses at a local center were offered as a part of my severance package from work.  I definitely took advantage of this opportunity.  I really enjoyed being updated on the changes in the job hunting arena.  The job market has changed in the past decade... Skype interviews, Linked In networking, and no "references available upon request" on your resume are just a few new things.

The final class was an interview simulation.  This course was a mock panel interview conducted by 2 career counselors pretending to be a hiring manager and an HR representative.  The goal was to be asked common interview questions, answer in the manner you were taught, and receive feedback in order to be prepared for actual interviews.

One of the questions that I received was "What was a mistake you have made?"  I proudly set up my answer in the CAR format. C- explain the challenge.  A- describe the action. R- give the result.  This over achiever, even remembered to state " an example from early in my career", which was an instruction given in one of the previous courses.  My answer blew the mock interviewers away!

I explained that I sold Viagra when I first started as  pharmaceutical rep.  The selling message to doctors was that this medication "gave the patient a harder and firmer erection versus the competition."  I told this to a physician of a cultural background that did not discuss erectile dysfunction (ED). He said "no penis" and walked away.  I was not allowed back in the office for sometime.  I proceeded to explain how I turned this doctor around, he began to open ED dialogue with his patients, and became a good Viagra customer. I was so proud of myself for giving a stellar example.


After being laughed at by the career counselors, I was told not to use the words "erection" or "penis" in an interview.  This is especially true when interviewing outside the medical community.  I guess after nearly a decade of aggressively selling medications and discussing body functions on a daily basis, you forget how to communicate with the rest of the world.  It is a good thing that I went to this career center because I honesty thought I did well! 

Success of the Day:  Learning to how to polish up my interview style

Pink Inspiration: The pink cheeks of the embarrassed male mock interviewer