I Deserve an ESPY for Having an Aspies Brother

    Every year ESPN hosts a ceremony that presents athletes that have excelled in sports with awards.  Most of these individuals have prevailed over adversity , remained focused under pressure, and have been training for years.  Anyone that has lived with someone that has Asperger Syndrome knows that  it is a marathon sport.

     My younger brother has a form of Autism called Asperger Syndrome.  People with this diagnosis are often referred to as Aspies in the autism community.  Individuals with this disorder can have symptoms of:

• Having difficulty or anxiety with social situations
• Becoming over-focused on a single item and want to know everything about this topic
• Unusual repetitive body movements
• Having problems with eye contact, facial expression, and gestures
• Clumsiness

   My brother is  labeled as "weird" or "strange" by others.  A recent outing to a Royal Oak restaurant for his birthday celebration is a perfect example of why people view Aspies in this manner. 

   The event started with the fact that it was a beautiful summer evening to eat on a patio and enjoy the scenery of downtown Royal Oak.  However, our party had to sit inside the dark venue because my brother is easily over stimulated and has anxiety with social situations. After we had settled into our seats, he began to look over the beverage menu and became fixated on the Mexican beers.  He asked the waitress 101 questions about the beers.  This continued for 5 minutes until she started to get testy.  I interjected with the suggestion that she bring a flight, but the bar did not offer one.  It was agreed for her to just bring her personal favorite selection.  Between the general social interaction of the outing and the interlude with the waitress, he needed to calm himself down, so he began "stimming".  Stimming is when an autistic person does a repetitive motion in order to calm them self.  In my brothers case, this is crumpling as many napkins as he can get his paws on. 
   It is a tradition for his birthday that I take a picture of just him.  I have always found it interesting that he never has eye contact with the camera, a typical sign of Asperger Syndrome.  This year, I asked him to pose with the beer that was an ordeal to order. Also, I wanted to capture the beautiful cashmere mock shirt that he was wearing since that was his gift from my husband and I. While posing, he clumsily dropped the beer.  On the way down to the ground, it spilled all over him and my father who had the  pleasure of sitting next to him.  The dropping of the beer started a public panic attack.

   In my pre-teen years, this scene would have sent me into tears of embarrassment.  However, after 3 decades of learning to cope with an Asperger Syndrome brother and gaining an education about the disorder, I just laughed.  I would say that this recent scene definitely qualifies me for an Aspies ESPY.

Success of the Day: Realizing how much I have matured

Pink Inspiration: The pink shade on my father's face as he held in his anger after having beer spilled on him

My Summer with an Albino

During high school,  I worked as a lifeguard at the local city pool.  While working there I was fascinated by a young man.  He was older and in college...  no this not a crush.  I was seduced by curiosity.  He looked like an albino...with his pale white skin, platinum blond hair, and aquamarine blue eyes.  The albino was thin,very athletic, and had the intelligence that you would expect from an University of Michigan undergrad.  He was also a vegan.

Since it was the mid 1990's, vegan was not an everyday term like it is today. I looked forward to having the same lunch break as him.  We both packed our own lunches and ate together while I drilled him about being a vegan. He explained to me that his diet consisted of no animal products.  I would watch him consume exotic nuts like soy and brazilian...up until this point the only nuts I knew about were Planter's peanuts and the special jar of cashews my father received as a gift during the holidays.  One time, I thought I would totally stump the albino by asking him about honey.  That technically is not an animal product, right?  He maintained that he does not eat honey because it comes from a living thing and ate agave nectar instead. (My thoughts...."Agave nectar. What? Weird!")

While the albino was eating nuts, fresh fruit, veggies and protein packed grains that I could not pronounce I was eating my brown bag staples.  This was packaged low fat turkey, light Wonder bread, prepackaged baby carrots and a piece of fruit.  He would educate me about how bad eating processed and packaged foods was for the body and the environmental consequences of animal farming.  At this point in my life, I had already removed beef and pork from my diet.  How could he ask more from me!  I thought he was just going through a crazy college kid phase.

Fast forward fifteen years...while adding walnuts and agave nectar to my morning oatmeal, I remembered the albino.  He had not crossed my mind in over decade.  I had realized that over time I had become more like him than I ever thought I would. Weird!

Success of the Day: Remembering to not judge others because one day you may become like them

Pink Inspiration: The pink tint of the albino's skin that peeked out from beneath the thick layer of chemical free titanium dioxide sunscreen on his face

Tickets to the Gun Show

I must apologize to my loyal blog fans for not posting in nearly two months.  I appreciate your encouragement and requests for more posts.  I hope this and future entries do not disappoint you.

Last month my husband participated in his first ever body building championship.  This has to be one of the most interesting events of our lives.  I use the words "our lives" because it required dedication from the both of us.  He started to train daily in January for the show in October. As the months progressed closer to the date the daily workouts increased to two a days.

Sounds pretty normal, huh?  Not so much as the calendar turned to 8 weeks from the event.  He needed to lose 50 pounds for the show.  So, the two a days increased to three times and eventually four times a day.  He literally ate a farm a day.  This vegetarian watched him eat a half dozen egg whites and half a pound of turkey bacon daily.  Do you have any idea how much I hate the smell of bacon?  I would rather scoop dog poop than be near the stove while it is sizzling.  I also had the daily task of cooking his 2-3 chicken breasts.  I do not eat chicken because it reminds of the muscles in a human cadaver.  Grossed out yet?  I totally was, but I wanted to be supportive.

The week before the show: he dehydrated himself by decreasing his fluid intake, diuretics, and trips to the sauna.  Crabby?  You betch ya!

Two days before the show:  he tried on his banana hammock Speedo.  I cannot complain about seeing his sculpted body in that but the mood was destroyed when he kept asking me if he looked fat.  Ladies...I learned a valuable lesson...do not ask your mate if you are fat when scantly clad...it is a total romance blocker.

Day before the show: I watched my husband get naked in front of another man inside a tent in this stranger’s living room and plugged my nose while he sprayed every nook on his body three times.  Later that night I went to bed with a starving orange man that smelled like chemicals and body odor.  (Oh, I forgot to mention that the competitors cannot use deodorant before or after the spray tan or it turns it green.  Showers are also a no-no because it removes the color)

Day of the show:  I watched over 100 men and women strut their stuff on stage for 10 hours.  I saw everything including hot bodies, cellulite, man boobs, and women that looked like men.  The smell in the auditorium was a mixture of spray tan, body odor and the peanut butter that they eat between the morning and night show.  I do not think this is a fragrance that Calvin Klein will be launching anytime soon.

We both came out winners in this competition.  My husband won a sword for placing 5th in his weight class and I was awarded a new pair of shoes for being wife of the year.

Success of the Day: Realizing that anything is possible if you put your mind to it

Pink Inspiration:  The fit ladies in their hot pink bikinis...total motivation to be fit

Don't Try This At Home

A few weeks ago, I was in the grocery store making my routine rounds.  This included purchasing a chocolate bar that I use to ward off binges by eating a few squares during the week when a craving strikes.  I am currently high on Green & Blacks Sea Salt and Peanut chocolate bar.  On this particular day, the bars were moved to the top shelf and I was wearing flat gladiator sandals instead of my heels.  I was struggling to reach the bar when I man came up next to me.  I was flabbergasted when he said  " you really need to read the labels on those things because they have a ton of calories" and walked away instead of helping me.  I instantly felt like the fat girl that people mock when they eat candy.


Desperate times call for desperate measures.  Instead of breaking down crying in the aisle of the grocery, I panicked.  My cart started to make a bee line to the baby food aisle.  My brain finally caught up with my adrenaline filled body and I realized that I had read in a magazine at the salon about how celebrities go on baby food diets to lose weight.  The self proclaimed diva celebrity inside had taken over and was putting the recommended 14 jars a day of baby food in the shopping cart.  Thankfully, I had not eaten yet that morning and could start the diet that day.

11:00 am:  3 jars of baby food.  It tasted pretty good.  I was impressed at how enjoyable the banana and oatmeal selection tasted.


1:00 pm:  3 more jars of baby food.  Still tasted good, but missed chewing and did not feel satisfied.


3:00 pm:  Really started to get hungry.  I did not think that eating a cup of 35 calorie popcorn would hurt my diet efforts and it helped satisfy the need to chew.


4:00 pm: Crabbed at my husband on the phone and was so tired that I had to take a nap.  The dog would not even come into the bed with me.  Was I radiating that much negative energy?


6:00 pm:  Cooked my husband dinner.  Ate a jar of baby food while he ate his meal.  Broke down and finished what was suppose to be his lunch for the next day.


Obviously,  that did not last too long.  I needed to come up with a plan that would be more realistic.   My solution was to enlist the help of a personal trainer and count my calories on www.livestrong.com  The first visit with the trainer was brutal!  I nearly passed out while doing squats on the Bosu ball and for the next few days I looked like my 91 year old grandmother when I went up or down the stairs.  I have been complaining about the 20 pounds that I gained last year while receiving treatment for a medical condition. Now, thanks to a rude stranger in the grocery store, I am motivated to make a difference in my life.




Success of the Day: Realizing that there are NO quick fixes
 
Pink Inspiration:  My pink New Balance workout shoes that I am starting not to be able to see when I look down at my feet

Striving to be Pink in a Gray World: Guests and Fish

Striving to be Pink in a Gray World: Guests and Fish: "Ben Franklin is credited with the quote, ' guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.' However, I did not find this to be true whe..."

Guests and Fish

Ben Franklin is credited with the quote, "guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days."  However, I did not find this to be true when my younger cousin from Savannah came to visit for a week.  It was refreshing to see him blossom from the belly bump on his mother to the worldly young man he is today.  My husband and I truly enjoyed his company.What did stink was the tuna fish disaster that I encountered three days into him being in town.  


We were enjoying time at my parents' pool.  The fun in sun made us hungry, so this fabulous host made tuna sandwiches.  I rinsed out the cans in order to prep them for recycling.  My parents were hosting a BBQ in my cousin's honor later that day and I did not want the fish to smell up the kitchen.  So, I decided to run the garbage disposal.  However, the disposal cover was missing and I did not want dirty tuna water to splash up onto me.  In order to solve this dilemma with Sherlock Holmes sleuth, I put the tuna can over the disposal hole to prevent a fish water shower and turned it on.  The power sucked the can down and it got stuck.  I immediately asked my father for a pliers.  His response "What did you do in my kitchen now?"  Everyone was laughing as he removed the can except him.


The following day, like fish on a mission to more fruitful waters, we crossed the Detroit River into Canada.  My husband, cousin, and self had a fun getaway to Caesars Windsor Hotel and Casino. We enjoyed a night of gambling, fine dining, and relaxation.  Overall, it was a great trip, except for the return home.  We were stopped at customs and our car was searched.  After fishing through our luggage, the female guard gave us a hard time about the amount of items we had.  She asked " Are you sure you only stayed one night?  You have a lot of stuff for a day trip."  Really?  Has she never encountered a Greek and an Italian metro sexual travelling with  fashionista before?  I would have hated to see what would have happened if my cousin brought his large full size suitcase like he wanted.  Thankfully it wouldn't fit into the sports car.  

Success of the Day: Discovering that being a slave to fashion may land one a spot in prison
 
Pink Inspiration:  The pink carry-on suitcase in the trunk that actually contained my husband's clothes because HIS belongings would not fit into a tote bag

The Amazing Flying Herbert: Admission $1

I have always wanted a Betta fish.  I think they are beautiful and soothing to watch.  My passionate PETA self justifies having one because they are Japanese puddle fish and enjoy living in small spaces.  In order to make myself feel better when I lost my job, I adapted one from PETCO and named him Herbert.  I really enjoy watching him swim and talking to him in his tank while I attempt to cook.  Although I have to admit it feels wrong admiring Herbert while preparing fish.


The other day it was his turn to eat.  I opened the top of his tank and he jumped out.  Herbert landed on the counter and than fell onto the floor.  He was flopping around on the ground between the dogs' dishes while they were eating. I started to screech and tried scooping him up.  My Yorkie started barking at either the fish or the unnatural sounds coming out of my mouth.  The Silky took this opportunity to eat his brother's food while we were distracted.  Thankfully they did not try to eat him.  After multiple attempts, I was successful in catching him in my hands and putting him back in his tank.  Once he was back home, he ate his blood worm food like nothing had happened. 

Success of the Day:  Learning from Herbert that sometimes you need to take a leap of faith

Pink Inspiration:  My pink cell phone that I wanted to use in order to call 911 during the all the chaos