Caffinated Cellulite

I am desperate!  Last night after midnight, I had a panic attack.  I realized that I am leaving for a beach vacation in less than a week and my cellulite is out of control.  Since I am not currently employed, my goal was to work out every day and lose 20 pounds.  Surprise.  That has not happened. 

My first thought was to run out to a 24-hour store and buy some cellulite cream.  On second thought, spending $20-$50 on a cream that barely works and will not show results in a week did not seam feasible to this newly money savvy chic.  So, I developed a brilliant plan at 1:15am to make my own.

The beauty magazines tout that caffeine is responsible for reducing the orange peel appearance of cellulite.  What has caffeine? Coffee!  I went and found the darkest k-cup that I could find in the pantry.  The darker...the more caffeine...right?  Then I cut open the k-cup.  A black cloud of ground coffee blew out the top.  Ok.  Step 1 complete.  I put it in a bowl.

Step 2. Now how do I get this on my legs? I need to mix it with something. At this late hour, sesame oil seemed like a logical choice because I used to slather it on to lighten the color of stretch marks.  I mixed the dark coffee grounds and the sesame oil together.  It smelled awful but I was a determined woman.  I rubbed this mixture on my legs while standing in the kitchen.  Not a fab idea. Coffee got all over the floor and the dogs were having a field day.  You would have thought they had been unleashed at Starbucks.

I grabbed the cling wrap and wrapped my legs so it would stop falling off.  The dogs were still going at the mess on the floor so I vacuumed it up.  Problem.  I should have worn underwear during this beauty treatment.  Coffee grounds went were no coffee should ever go: truly an uncomfortable experience.

However, I did successfully make it up the stairs to rinse the mess off in the shower.  I must admit that I really think it work a tad bit. I actaully may try it again.

When my husband returns home from his trip what do you think he will notice first? My reduced cellulite or the lingering odor of sesame oil and coffee?

Success of the Day:  Gaining motivation to make exercise a daily part of my life again

Pink Inspiration: My pink beach towel: It is ready for me regardless of my cellulite status.

Supporting Michigan

I can really use an upgrade on my spring handbag.  I have been carrying the same fall/winter bag for 3 years and do not want to continue using it into the spring/summer season.  The bright yellow Coach tote that I purchased last summer is just too heavy for my less than stellar back.  It truly needs to find a new home with a deserving Ebay shopper. 

I REALLY want the MICHAEL by Michael Kors Hamilton Large Tote! My pre-unemployment self would have ran to his store in my stilettos faster than most can sign their name on a credit card slip.  However, now I can NOT justify spending the amount of an unemployment check on a handbag. 

My friend introduced me to a line of handbags from local designer, Jenna Kator.  Her collection has some fantastic pieces.  I purchased "The Petoskey".

http://www.jennakatorhandbags.com/petoskey-details.html

I really like this purse.  It has the same color and similar style of the Michael Kors bag, but is much less expensive.  I also LOVE the fact that I am supporting another Michigan resident.  We all need to assist one another in this tough economy.  However, I must admit that through this positivity I was feeling gray.  I was having a pity party that I could not afford a famous designer bag because I equate handbags to social status. 

Then the most amazing event took place.  There is a lady at the career center that I admire very much.  She is a retired VP from a local prestigious hospital system.  She is a classy, professional, and well educated woman.  I aspire to be like her when I am at retirement age.  When I sat next to her in a class today, she showed me her Jenna Kator bag!  She had "The Cranbrook" purse.  It made me feel so good that someone I hold in such high esteem had a handbag by the same designer.  If it is good enough for her then it is good enough for me.  Now I LOVE my new bag!

Success of the Day:  Accepting the fact that status is much more than a single handbag

Pink Inspiration: The pink Hello Kitty band-aid stashed at the bottom of my purse that came in handy for my bruised ego

Moved Back Home

I have moved back home with my parents....  BUT just temporarily.  My mother had cosmetic surgery earlier in the week and requires around the clock care.  The dogs and I moved  in to help her with recovery.  It is the least I could do since she has done this twice for me in the past year.  I was really looking forward to a "vacation", a trip down memory lane.  However that is not what has been happening.  Things in my childhood home have changed:

• My old room has new paint, curtains, and a wall border
• 3 cats have replaced the giant German Shepard
• The fridge full of home cooked meals has been replaced with a can of Spam and left over soups

Foremost, this adventure is a departure from when my mother cared for four children and a husband in this home.  I am now the care taker.  I feed her and giver her medication every few hours. I also change her surgical tubes.  It is like feeding and diapering a new born, expect this one will be quiet when you tell it to "zip it". 

Although this may not sound like much fun, I am in very good spirits.  It feels really good to give back to someone that has helped you...because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.  And it is GREAT to see her do something for herself after 32 years of unselfishly doing for her family. 

Plus there is still the endless supply of feta cheese!

Success of the Day:  Realizing the place I have with my husband is now my true home

Pink Inspiration: The old pink paint in my former bedroom that is visible through  a crack in the wall

How do you Hot Wire a Car?

In case you missed an older blog, I had a company car with my previous employer.  When I was downsized, my car was too.  Joe and I had been sharing one.

Vehicle Update:  The passing of my father-in-law left his wife with two fully paid vehicles, 2 insurance payments, and one driver.  She is generously loaning us one of the cars and we are reciprocating by covering the insurance payments.

This morning I left the house to go to one of my much needed Employee Assistance Program (EAP) sponsored therapy sessions. Upon entering the garage, I realized my husband decided to switch vehicles, but not keys.  I was left with a car and a key that could NOT start it.  The first thought I had was to hot wire the car.  The second thought that darted in my head was...  how did I grow up in the Detroit area and not learn that skill?


Oh the irony of this situation!


Success of the Day:  Catching myself stress eating before I ate the entire industrial size tub of hummus from Costco

Pink Inspiration: My yorkie's pink tongue.  It is hard to stay bitter when his sweet smile includes a pop of his  little tongue

Light in the Shadow of Death

This is dedicated to my father-in-law: Robert "Bob" Maltagliati 1953-2011

During the eulogy for him, I stated:

"Bob may be gone, but he will not be forgotten.  Please do NOT remember him as you see him lying here in state.  He would want you to reminisce that he was a:

·        loving and devoted family man

·        man of generosity

·       hard worker that provided for his family

·       man of style with a flair for fashion

·       master of jokes- no matter the color

·       the next Tiger Woods

·       master chef of pasta sauce

·       charming flirt

·       and a gifted gambler

He has touched each of you in this room in a special way.  Please take that with you when leave tonight.

If Bob was standing here instead of me, he would…

·       Tell his wife Jay to keep on living

·       Tell his family to keep on loving one another

·       And tell each of you to keep on laughing"

And laughing among the sadness is what just we did.  I like to think I am a smart cookie, but sometimes I doubt myself.  My joke loving father-in-law would have appreciated the following misunderstandings:

1. A family member said to me "last time I saw you, you were in white."  I retorted, " I have always been Caucasian." ...they were referring to my wedding day. 
2. My aunt mentioned  that there is a potential ban on menthol cigarettes because kids like the taste of them.  I questioned " kids are now eating cigarettes?"
3. My husband informed my brother-in-law, his wife, and myself that we would be delivering the host to the priest during the funeral service.  I asked "why can't the host deliver whatever the priest needs them self? After all they are the HOST."  Then he explained to me the act of delivering the sacrament during a mass.

Success of the Day:  Celebrating that death is not an end, but the beginning of eternity

Pink Inspiration: The gorgeous pink roses that were scattered among different floral arrangements at the funeral home. You can not fall into an abyss of sadness when you are surrounded such beauty.

Frisky Fish

This post is dedicated to all of you that will observe Lent and eat fish tomorrow.

I decided to make this simple recipe for dinner:

20 oz Tilapia
2 tomatoes diced
1 clove garlic minced
4 tbls bread crumbs
4 tsp Parmesan grated
2 tsp margarine
2 tsp lemon juice

Pre heat oven to 350 degrees.  Place fish in non-stick dish.  Combine ingredients.  Divide onto each fillet.  Bake for 15 minutes.

My mother has been making this delicious dish for years and I have seen her prepare it a zillion times, but I just did not inherit her cooking gene.

Today's cooking catastrophe started with dicing the tomatoes while talking on the phone.  After ALMOST slicing my finger, I decided it was a good idea to end the conversation. Disaster avoided and onto the the next...

Premade bread crumbs do not exist in my home.  The previous chef  dried his own bread in order to make the homemade version.  Thankfully, there is a chop chop tool thing that you put the bread  under and after a few hits it makes crumbs.  However, I would not recommend doing this by an open window with a breeze. The bread crumbs (as I learned today) easily blow off the counter and onto the floor. I will let you use your imagine to determine whether or not I made new ones. 

Another fancy tool in the kitchen is a cheese grater with a handle just like in an upscale restaurant.  I did not have grated cheese in the fridge, so this came in handy.  It really should come with instructions. FYI:  do not put the cheese into the hole.  In there, it does not grate.  You need to open the handle and put the cheese next to the blades, then it will snow out of the hole. This act lead me to sampling the Parmesan out of frustration.  Thank you to my friend for giving it to me as a birthday gift.  My birthday was last month...was that cheese still good?

Success of the Day:  Realizing that I took my husband's culinary skills for granted and telling him he is appreciated

Pink Inspiration: My pink bottle of Hello Kitty perfume: just because you cook fish does not mean you need to smell like one

Popping the Costco Cherry

I am a super warehouse virgin.  I have never been a Sam's Club or Costco member.  I used to spend my Sundays at Whole Foods and Target, putting anything I desired into my basket without thinking about the cost.  With the recent events, I have been downsizing my lifestyle.  My financial advisor reviewed our household budget. He was appalled at the money we spend on groceries and at Target. 


Mission:  To save money on groceries and household items without...

1) Giving up my all natural and organic pescatarian diet
2) Being hypocritical and going to Walmart ( I do not like the labor practices of Walmart as well as the amount of items imported from China)

My mother is a Costco card holder, so she took me on my first super warehouse adventure.  My initial impression was not good.  I was flustered just parking.  There was a man directing traffic to the gas pumps because there was a line around parking lot to purchase gas for $3.44/ gallon.  The  parking lot was so full that we had to stalk members as they walked back to their vehicles.

Inside there was wall to wall people and items stacked from the floor to the ceiling.  This was very overwhelming!  I cannot forget to add the people fighting for 42lb bags of kitty litter that were on sale as well as the hoards of people grabbing and shoving one another for free samples.  I laughed at the senior citizens hopping from food kiosk to food kiosk for a free strolling lunch.

I may not have enjoyed this experience, but I was amazed at the money I saved.  The tub of greek yogurt that we buy every week was $5.99 versus $7.99.  The price difference was worth only the 0% formulation being available instead of my usual 2%.  Another weekly staple in my home is kalamata olives.  I buy a small container from the olive bar for $7.99, but at Costco I purchased an industrial sized jar for the same price. I do think my mission was accomplished.  Super warehouses may not have all the items I need, but I know that I can find a balance between Target, Costco, and Whole Foods in order to decrease the monthly budget of groceries and household items.

Success of the Day:  Realizing that it is not the end of the world to give up small luxuries like the olive bar in order to save a few bucks

Pink Inspiration: Pink pajama pants on a female Costco member/ Ladies wear clothes to the store!  You never know where the hidden cameras of the "People of Walmart" may be lurking.